1. Always copy-and-paste from Stack Overflow. If you had to look it up, the answer is probably too hard to understand anyway. 2. Don't try to build anything yourself — it's quicker to learn from tutorials, since you skip all the mucking about trying to solve the problem. 3. Don't bother understanding error messages. They're arcane and just mean something is wrong. 4. You're a software engineer in the golden age of AI — that means you're being paid to copy-paste into and out of ChatGPT, and nobody else can do it as well as you can. 5. Be mysterious in standup. After all, what you're working on is too complex to be able to explain.